My last post had to do with motivation. It’s tough but with the help of Kevin Durant’s MVP speech, I got the ball rolling.
Somewhat. I was reflecting about myself and realized that I have a lot of weaknesses. These character flaws may provide for a good story in some future drama, but as of right now, I need to overcome them. So in no particular order, I’m going to list the negatives of myself.
I’ve gotten better, but I fear people’s judgement of me. Especially when making promises. Sometimes I’m afraid to promise someone something because I don’t want to go back on my word and be a liar, or worse, a hypocrite. There are things that I want to do but I’m scared of what people will think of me so I don’t do it. Like dancing, or filming a video. Which is horrible because I like doing these things. And what’s worse is that these are things that you’re supposed to perform/show to other people. The struggle.
Compared to other people who panic about rent and other bills, I don’t. Which brings me to my next weakness, laziness. I know that I have it better than others so I live without a major sense of urgency. Which is really bad because I drift and I waste time. Even as I say this, I spent a ridiculous amount of time writing this post because I’m so damn lazy. Other people utilize that fear and turn it into motivation. It’s terrible that I need to crash and burn before I get my ass off and running.
Last but not least, over thinking. I am one hell of an over thinker. It kills me because I think, think, think of something that I should be doing, but I don’t do it. I’ve thought about it for so long I probably could have done whatever it was at least five times. And this goes hand-in-hand with over dreaming. It’s not bad to dream, but if all you do is dream about the end/results, nothing will get done.
Now before you eat a gallon of ice cream and skydive without a parachute, there’s a positive note to this post. If there’s one thing that’s constant in this world, it’s change. Which means that these weaknesses are subject to change and can become strengths. I don’t know how that will happen or what strengths they’ll become, but with time and effort, these weaknesses can become my defining characteristics.
Ugh, weakness already coming into play. But here goes. I want to become someone that my friends and family can be proud of. I want to be successful so that I can bring joy and laughter to others. Most importantly, I want to look back on my life and say, “Fuck yes. That was an awesome life.” But I won’t if I let these weaknesses control me. I’m going to make these weaknesses my BITCHES.
Good night y’all. And I wish all of those who stumble across this post a thumbs up and a smile.
ThoughtfuLEE 